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The Whetstone Newsletter Vol.1 No. 8 Marriage Needs, Great Expectations, Slow Down

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What You Really Need in Marriage – Mark Atrogge

It’s wonderful if you have a wife or husband who cares for you, serves you and blesses you. But remember, ultimately no human being can meet all of another human being’s needs. No human being can satisfy another human. It’s just not going to happen. Only God can meet all our needs and truly satisfy us.- Mark Altrogge

We live in a self oriented consumption culture. We need to get some benefit out everything. We’ve treated our spouses as such too. If they don’t satisfy a “need” or serve a “purpose”, or if they fail to meet our desires they have failed. In the article Mark asks “How much do believers in Jesus really need from their spouse? I would submit you DON’T need your spouse:

To satisfy you

To serve you

To make you feel good about yourself

To meet all your expectations

To fulfill you”

That’s a tall order for a flawed human being to fulfill. A set of expectations that if held is set up for failure and disappointment.

Mark answers the question “What do you really need?”  It’s to love your spouse, to be a servant, grace, to expect your spouse to have many weaknesses and failures, and for your spouse to be slow to change.



Parents:Give Up Your Great Expectations by Amy Julia Becker

Our job as pastors and parents and teachers and coaches is to look for the image of God in each child, and to cultivate that reflection of our Creator. Our job is to help kids discover who they are and live into that fullness of life, even when such fullness may involve risk, disappointment, or difference.

Kids today seem to be under a lot of pressure. Pressure to perform well in school, to be the best athletically, and involved socially. Do you know what the number one regret of those about to die was?  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. So the encouragement from Amy’s article to us is, “The doctrine of the imago Dei must animate our understanding of kids no matter who they are. All human beings, male and female, are created in God’s image and therefore reflect something of God’s nature. God has something to offer the world in and through each child, whether they be phenomenal athletes or kids with Down syndrome or academic superstars or children in wheelchairs.”


Sharpen:Slow Down

Why It’s More Important You Slow Down than Hurry Up, by Cadence Turpin

The ability to “be” is a fading virtue, and I hope we’ll fight for it.


There used to be a theory that technology would save us so much time that we would have a problem with not having enough to do. We would cut our work week down so much that we would get bored with free time. Sounds like a pretty good pipe dream to me. The reality is that we just try to cram more in. We have saved time, but we’ve filled it in. My personal theory is that time is a vacuum. And nature abhors a vacuum, or maybe it’s human nature that abhors it.  So, back to the article.  Candace makes the argument that we fill our lives with meaningless tasks that technology makes it possible to fit more meaningless tasks.  So go do something slow. Watch a baseball game. Hang out with a friend where you can just be. No agenda, no topic of conversation to get through, no task to be accomplished. Just be.

Busyness has been such a huge topic for me lately that one or several of the upcoming issues of the Whetstone is going to be dedicated to it. So, I’m going to go get busy on that now.


Put an edge to your life.


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